Our cousins across the pond
In the good old US of A,
When they cross the Atlantic
Need to watch what they say...
Because words here differ
In what they actually mean,
At least they're ok at breakfast
As we eat the same baked bean.
Now they had Theo Kojak
Whilst we had our own Sweeney,
We like a vegetable, the courgette
So don't ask for any zucchini.
US cars they have a hood
And the back end is a trunk,
We've the bonnet and a boot
And so many words for being drunk.
Our jam is their jelly
Our jelly, that's their jello,
A fag is a cigarette
And certainly not a gay fellow.
They walk upon the sidewalk
We stroll down a footpath,
Our students study mathematics
American kids do math.
Their babies wear diapers
To keep them dry and happy,
Whilst our little ones
Poo and wee a nappy.
Our clothes go in a wardrobe
They hang theirs in a closet,
We turn on a tap to wash our hands
Yet they turn on the faucet.
Our rubber is their eraser
Their rubber is something different,
If they wore a rubber in England
She'd surely end up pregnant.
Come to England on vacation
We go to the states on holiday,
But there's an important difference
In words, about which I have to say.
It's the American word for bottom
The difference is rather uncanny,
Lets just say, be prepared to be slapped
If you mention a ladies nice fanny.
Phil Hall November 2013
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