I KILLED THE QUEEN

It just happened
I didn't intend to do it,
I remember thinking
Oh shit!
I mean
Who would actually
Want
To kill the queen?
The one minute
She was there,
All elegant and regal
Then I was plunged
Right in it.
I don't think
It's legal.
In my defence
I was
Protecting myself,
As I grabbed
The rolled up newspaper
Lying on the shelf.
I thought
She was attacking me
In my own
Front room,
So I belted her
About the bonce
And sealed
Her majesty's doom.
She lay there
Squirming dizzily
I wasn't sure
What to do,
So I put the queen
Out of her misery
And crushed her with my shoe.

Phil Hall  April 2014