JUST LIKE YOU

JUST LIKE YOU

Today I’m going to be

Just like you

Doing the annoying things

That you all do,

Shall I illegally park

In a disabled space?

Slam a shop door

In a woman's face?

Maybe I’ll read your phone text

Check on your private mail,

Then I’ll drive like an idiot

Close to another cars tail.

 I could shout and swear

In a nice country pub

And I won’t clean the bath

After soaking in the tub.

I’ll ignore you in the market.

If all your groceries drop,

Especially after barging past you

On the way into the shop,

When it comes to a special present

I’ll just buy you socks

And I will never

Put money in a charity box.

I’ll answer my phone

In the cinema show,

And I’ll stop all the traffic

When the lights say go.

I’ll hang on street corners

And graffiti on the wall,

I’ll bully little children

And steal their bike and ball.

I’ll go into somebody’s house

And take what isn’t mine,

I’ll even steal from my mother’s purse

And pretend that all is fine.

I won’t tidy the garden

I will not cut the grass,

So just like all the rest of you

Today I’ll be an Ass.

Phil Hall  July 2013