THE BAD SAMARITAN

Hello!
Who's there?...Hello!
You're through to Phil
What's your problem good fellow?
Ray!
Speak to me Ray!
Don't mess me around
I'm having a bad day.
Gone!
She's gone!
Well so has mine
It's great, second to none.
Love!
You were in love?
Well so was I until
My neighbour gave her a shove.
Died!
Oh... She died!
Well so did mine
After what I'd spied.
Hang?
Yourself?.... Hang?
Good idea
Go out with a bang.
Next!
Who's next?
Never known it so busy
I'm getting vexed.

Jump!
Go on.... Jump!
All this self pity
Is giving me the hump.
Shoot!
Please shoot!
Cover me in blood
Ruin my suit.
Track!
Put your head on the track!
Squashed by a train
No looking back.
Pills!
Pop them pills!
Overdose and destroy your liver
Because you can't pay your bills.
Blade!
Slice the blade!
Sever your carotid
Look at the mess you've made.
Mistake!
A big mistake!
My advice will help you
Miss your next birthday cake.
Wrong!
The numbers wrong!
You've called the euthanasia clinic
And not the Samaritans all along.

Phil Hall  April 2014