SNOBBERY
(And all related
nonsense)
There is so much
snobbery
In everything we
do,
Certain people
looking down their nose
At the likes of me
and you.
I’ll try and give
examples
Of the day to day
things I see,
Then I suppose the
snobs will have their say
And have a go at
me.
Go into a swanky
restaurant
And look on the
menu,
It’s full of
flowery, meaningless crap,
Designed to take
more money from me and you.
When a sauce
becomes a reduction
And gravy is
described as a jus.
All I want is some moisture
on my veg,
I don’t need this
ridiculous fuss.
When scallops are
called ‘Pan fried’
It doesn’t make me
feel I need to eat.
And just how much
better is ‘Hand carved’ ham?
Do they normally
slice it with their feet?
The wine list is
another thing entirely
When the snobs really go to town,
If you take a
bottle of house red
When ordering fish,
they frown.
The descriptions of
the taste, nose and bouquet
Like hint of citrus
and leather.
Well I can’t find
any of that,
But two bottles
help me forget about the bad weather.
I don’t get this
act of sniffing the wine,
Then slurping and
gurgling as they suck it.
It can’t really
taste too good
As they always spit
it into a bucket.
When the meal
eventually arrives,
In the middle of
the plate a small stack.
Your beer infused
and massaged steak
Is the size of a small
child’s snack.
You ask repeatedly
for bread rolls
As your stomach is continually
rumbling,
You wipe your plate
clean of the drizzle
All the while about
the portion, you’re quietly mumbling.
Now I find poetry
has snobbery also,
With stanzas,
metaphors and all of these things,
I couldn’t care
less about presentation
Just as long as the
poetry sings.
We’re all given a
voice
And we all have
something to say,
I don’t need
somebody to tell me
They’d write my
work a different way.
Because, then it
becomes your work
It wouldn’t feel
mine quite as much,
I like to see poor grammar
and mistakes here and there,
It gives the work a
beautiful, personal touch.
Phil Hall May 2013
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