GETTING OLDER

GETTING OLDER

It’s easy to dislike things

As I get older,

Summers getting hotter

And winters becoming colder.

I can’t stand those bright drinks

Served in pubs so loud,

I've just mastered Facebook

And along comes I cloud.

When I’m on a flight,

I feel like going wild.

Why do I always sit

In front of an annoying child?

Kicking on your seat back,

His moaning and crying gets me mad.

I get really bloody angry

And I want to punch his Dad.

When I’m out driving

You've the truly ridiculous sight,

Some young fool with fog lights,

Glaring on a clear night.

The glamorous TV weather girls

Who give out needless advice .

“It’s going to be hot, use sun cream,

If you’re going somewhere nice”

To “It’s very cold outside,

So please wrap up warm”

Or, “it’s raining so take a brolly”

Surely, that’s the norm.

I know it’s because I’m getting older,

Why my patience is wearing thin.

There’s so much to make me grumpy,

Like reality TV or any ‘Boy Bands’ awful din.

 I hate those terrible commercial breaks

With some sycophantic twat,

Waxing lyrical about what you can claim,

If you trip at work, or something stupid like that.

Everyone wants something for nothing,

Like pretending to get whiplash,

When they were only travelling at five miles per hour,

These bastards will do anything for cash.

Well that’s it for now,

I think I've ranted on for too long,

I could go on for ages at what drives me mad,

But my language would be far too strong.

(For the moderators anyway)

Phil Hall  April 2013