LIFE STORY

LIFE STORY

I've carved my name

In the tree of life,

I've etched my epitaph

Upon my headstone.

Posted my obituary in the paper,

And, booked the funeral,

 By phone.

I had smoke signals

As cards for my birthday,

Received a text

To say I was born.

My first girlfriend shouted ,

“You’re dumped”

My heart, like paper was torn.

I was embarrassed by a friend

On ‘You tube’.

Bullied by some freak

On Facebook,

Though I was glad

I found out about Google,

As it taught me how to cook.

I found my bride

Through mail order,

And she arrived

 In the post from Thailand,

The fact that she was a he

And needed an op, my anger,

They couldn't understand.

I get all my shopping

From supermarkets online,

 Fresh fruit, my bread,

And even my favourite bitter.

I suppose when I die,

I’ll have an app that transmits

Telling everyone I’m dead via Twitter.

Phil Hall  April 2013